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“Don’t look so glum,” Keith said, grinning. “It doesn’t mean you’re gay; probably.” “Fuck you,” I said, unable to look him in the eye. Now that I wasn’t rubbing on his body, my dick was already starting to soften. Too fucking late. “Okay, hop up here,” he said, patting the table as he stood. I learned a valuable lesson that day. No matter how certain I was about anything, I would never again take a bet without being willing to accept the consequences of losing. Never again would I be that certain of anything, not even my name. I lay face down on the table, positioning my nose and mouth in the hole of the headrest, so I could breathe. Keith poured some oil in his palms and began working on my shoulders. “Relax, buddy,” he said. “As long as we’re going to do this, there’s no reason you shouldn’t enjoy it. I’m quite good, and there’s nothing better than a good massage.” He was right. I relaxed the tension in my neck, taking deep breaths and releasing them slowly as I consciously relaxed. They rank along with the homeless. Everybody looks down on them. Losers.As you will have surmised, that is where we were. So when the landlord wanted his cottage back, his son was getting married, we were on the hunt for somewhere to live, and fortune smiling on the bold, we ended up in the next village, the one where Jane lived, in a really nice cottage surrounded by gently rounded chalk hills; the sort of place where you can save money on holidays by simply staying home. On the one side, in the other semi-detached half were a young couple, and on the other an old and very decrepit bungalow occupied by an old lady. Except she wasn't. She was in fact a bloke, something which everyone knew because when he moved there he was a bloke called Dave, and at a point in time put on a wig, frock, and high heels and called him, or her, self Elsie. You can, by the way, usually tell a transvestite because they mow the lawn in high heels. Aerates the grass too.The young couple were very pleasant,.
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